Dear Reader,
Before I begin, I would like to say thank you for stumbling across this blog and for allowing your eyes to wander across these words. I don’t know how you got to this part of the web. Maybe you know me in real life and were bombarded with demands such as “Hey go check out my blog” and finally, you got so fed up with them that you actually did it. Maybe you were meaning to find some other blog and are very very confused as to why you are reading my words and not your Aunt Martha’s. Regardless of how and why you are here, please know that I am very glad that you decided to stay. Before we begin this, dear reader, there is something about myself that I would like you to know.
The truth is...I hate beginnings.
While most people tend to hate the end of an experience, I find the hardest part of a journey is simply gaining enough momentum to start doing it in the first place. I’ve always been an anxious person, and while I am working to control my anxiety, I still can’t help but fear the unknown. The future is full of possibilities, some I would like to happen and others that I cannot even fathom. The options of where life may take me are so vast, so overwhelming, so terrifying that most of the time I don’t begin new things. I find comfort in the routine I have built for myself. However, routines can turn into monotony and monotony to boredom. I cannot continue to grow in a little box that is growing too small for my body. I am growing; I am experiencing new experiences, trying new things, and building a life for myself that I didn’t think possible before. To be frank, I am changing whether or not I want to think about it or acknowledge it.
My recent reflection upon change and my fear of it stems from one basic fact: in two months, I will be attending college. I will be moving out of the home I have known for most of my life and into a new environment with new people, having to rely on myself in ways I never had to before. I will be pushed in new ways, will carry new responsibilities, and will truly have to view the world through the eyes of an adult for the first time. And while the start of college is an amazing blessing that I am so grateful and excited for, I am also terrified. I have never known a world where I did not have my parents to rely on. I have never known a world where I have to sleep in a bed that is not my own. I have never known a world that, though so large and varying, also seems incredibly intimidating.
The next few months will be full of beginnings. And while they seem frightening, I believe that documenting them will bring them down to size. I hope that each of you jumps into this journey with me.
Best Wishes,
Hope
